"Agony Aunt" Letters -- Due Friday

HOMEWORK FOR FRIDAY, 11 DECEMBER 09:

You are taking the role of Ann Landers or "Dear Abby" or Dr. Phil. On your blog answer these "agony aunt" problem letters.

Here's how you approach these:

1. Identify what the problem(s) is/are.
2. Empathize or sympathize with the person.
3. Offer one to three serious suggestions that really might help. One of your "solutions" may be to talk to an adult or counselor.
4. Start the request for advice letter as "Dear Uncle EungHo," or "Dear Aunt Tim Yan" (or whatever your name is).
5. Start your answer with "Dear Sad," or "Dear Anxious," or "Dear A.i.A.," based on how the person signed the letter.

Below is a sample advice letter and answer from Ann Landers. You can also look at some sample answers that Emily Y. wrote last year.

Dear Ann Landers: My boss recently hired a woman for the position of office manager. "Sue" was a social acquaintance of his who did not like her job as a receptionist for a large business across town, so he hired her at an enticing salary and made her office manager.

I have been employed here for 10 years and always felt I could tell my boss anything in confidence. Last week, Sue conducted a staff meeting, and the boss was not present. The next day, he asked me how the meeting went and asked for details. I had a few complaints about Sue, which I jotted down and gave to him. I marked the note "confidential." Later that day, he mentioned that my points were valid and that he would address them.

Ann, I meant that note for his eyes only. To my astonishment, he showed the note to Sue and asked her what she thought. Now Sue no longer acknowledges my presence. I am a traitor in her eyes. My trust in my boss has been shattered completely. I feel betrayed. All my co-workers know about this, and I'm afraid they never will trust me again.

Should I turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to everything that has happened and stay here? Or should I throw in the towel and seek employment elsewhere?

— No Name, No City

Dear N.N.N.C.:
Your boss's behavior was reprehensible. He had no business showing your note to Sue. This was a blatant violation of trust. The waters have been muddied now, my dear, and I don't see any way to cleanse them. My advice is to look for another
job immediately and take the best offer.

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For Friday, 11 December 09:

Answer three of these letters. (You have eight to choose from.) Post both the letters and your answers on your blog.

The grading criteria will be as follows:

1 point = identify the problem
1 point = sympathize
2 points = offer 1-3 suggestions
1 point = grammar and writing
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5 points each x 3 letters = 15 points

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(1) Dear Auntie ___ or Uncle ___, (fill in your name)

I like a guy at my school and he seems to like me, too. We do a lot of things together. Unfortunately, whenever we go somewhere, he doesn’t have much money so I have to pay for his Starbucks or McDonald’s. He said his parents don’t give him much of an allowance. I don’t mean to complain, but I don’t get much allowance, either. How can I get him to pay his fair share?

– Poor in Pendik

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(2) Dear Auntie ___ or Uncle ___, (fill in your name)

I recently attended a soccer match that my children were playing in at our school. I noticed that very few parents came to the game. It made me sad that the parents seemed to care so little about their children. I am appalled by their lack of sensitivity and that of the other parents who did not accompany their children. Please tell your readers that part of the responsibility of parenthood includes being there to give your children emotional support, even if it means missing work.

— Outraged in Ortakoy

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(3) Dear Auntie ___ or Uncle ___, (fill in your name)

My husband and I are raising four beautiful children. Our oldest daughter, age 15, has admitted to us that she has been drinking alcohol at parties on weekends. She says she never gets drunk but always has one drink because "everyone else is doing it" and she doesn't want to look "weird."

My husband and I never drink. Alcohol is not served in our home. Our daughter is an honor student and never has caused us any trouble. She says we should appreciate her honesty and not be angry with her. How should we handle this?

— Beside Ourselves in Bebek

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(4) Dear Auntie ___ or Uncle ___, (fill in your name)

I have many close friends in my school. We all have unlocked lockers in our PE locker room. My friends feel quite comfortable to take things from my locker—my school uniform shirt, my coat, my deodorant—and use them. I don’t mind, but I wish they would put the things back where they found them. I have received two discipline slips because I cannot find my uniform shirt. What can I do to get them to respect my property and my need for “boundaries?”

–Frustrated in Ferikoy

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(5) Dear Auntie ___ or Uncle ___, (fill in your name)

I have a lot of homework every night. At the same time, I want to spend time with my friends, participate in extra-curricular activities, and use Facebook. If I don’t get on Facebook every night, I feel left out. At the same time, I think I’m wasting a lot of time and it is one way I could make better use of my time. What do you suggest?

-- Lonely in Libadiye

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(6) Dear Auntie ___ or Uncle ___, (fill in your name)

I have a friend, “Matilda,” who is very concerned about her weight. She is very thin, but she’s always saying she’s fat. She never eats lunch and she wears big, baggy clothing so we can’t really see what she looks like. I think she is anorexic, but when I said that to her, she reacted angrily and told me to mind my own business. What do you think I should do?

– Anxious in Antalya

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(7) Dear Auntie ___ or Uncle ___, (fill in your name)

I complained about the way my SAT Prep teacher grades our homework and tests. Somehow, the teacher found out it was me who complained and she treats me very coolly and angrily. What can I do to get in her good graces again—without “sucking up to her” or being a “brown-noser”?

--Sad in Selimiye

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(8) Dear Auntie ___ or Uncle ___, (fill in your name)

I recently moved to Turkey. I feel isolated because there are few American families here, and I do not speak Turkish. I home-school my kids, so we don’t have many opportunities to meet other foreigners. It has been five months, and I still can't get over the culture shock. I spend my days cooped up with my kids, unable to do the simplest things. I can't seem to live up to my husband's expectations, and he has become quite critical. This is hurting our marriage. Please help me before I go crazy.

— Agonizing in Ankara

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text and letters (c) pjfs 2009.
picture: bellanaija.blogspot.com
Ann Landers's letter: http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/classic-ann-landers/classic-ann-landers-2008-11-02.html.